breaking the habit - Linkin Park

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I’m picking me apart again
You all assume
I’m safe here in my room
(unless I try to start again)

I don’t want to be the one
The battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize
That I’m the one confused

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m
Breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I’ll paint it on the walls
‘Cause I’m the one at fault
I’ll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don’t know how I got this
I’ll never be alright
So I’m
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight

for those who slept under candles and kisses, bewitched clouds may cover unchained kisses.

to those who cry and play under the sun, remember the moon can shine as ever so bright.

for those of us who need inteligent laughs

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. ''' Since there is more''' than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.


Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

A. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

B.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

the lips of the doll

The lips that bleed words of sweet irony, those that speak honest thruths that are always incomplete, those who never dare speak more than the more they should...

My lips are bleeding.

Be italian - Fergie (NINE soundtrack)

SARAGHINA:

Spoken:
So you little Italian devils, you want to know about love?
Saraghina will tell you. If you want to make a woman happy, you lie on what you’re born with, because it is in your blood.

Be Italian
Be Italian
take a chance and try to steal a fiery kiss
be Italian
be Italian
when you hold me don’t just hold me but hold this
please be gentle, sentimental
go ahead and try to give my cheek a pat
but be daring and uncaring
when you pinch me try to pinch me where there’s fat
HA!
be a singer be a lover
pick the flower now before the chance is past
be Italian
be Italian
live today as if it may become your last!
http://www.elyricsworld.com/be_italian_lyrics_fergie.html
Hey!
be a singer be a lover
pick the flower now before the chance is past
be Italian
be Italian
live today as if it may become your last!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q14LIeFlC8

My dreamworld last night

In the end, it does not matter how I see it or from what angle I shine some light upon, I was just another passing curiosity.
I try hard to not care about him, to not make him important but in the end I guess it just hurts to always be used or confused.
And even though I wish he were hurt the same way he hurt me, I dont want to see him suffer because I'm stupid that way, like a broken doll...always the broken doll image comes to mind.
It is someone else whom I want to see suffering the worst and most unimaginable punishment that one can think of...
I Hate hipocrisy, it is something I am good at but never tolerated...and someone who is just a hipocrit because of fear of someone actually speaking the thruth in her face, is someone worth my wrath...

Too bad for me, and too good for her, I simply am a lady that hates to hurt people...good for me, bad for her, in the end...everyone around me gets hurt.

Ouroboros

 

The forever and never-ending cycle of most beautiful life thoughts.

We forever bite our tails and nothing ever ends.

Gods, what did you do to drive this crazy enough?

what did I trully fear?

It was not you, nor your lack of valor. It was not me and my lack of comprehension.
I feared falling down onto the floor, not noticing I was already there and was very comfortable.

I woke up from reality and entered the dream, this is my new home. I walk in this realm better than on the other.
Thread softly, the glass may cut your feet.

A hug, a caress, a smile, a light in this darkness. The spring is coming, the cherry blossoms will give us the most beautiful of blooms.

my life in ruins

so old is my soul
such as the stone on my right
such as the stone on my left
We touch, they're cold
we touch, I'm warm
I'm alive
but am I really living?
sometimes us dolls are not only old
we're broken and forget we have hearts
we forget we have souls
only in ancient places such as this
we remember the past
and redeem ourselves.

I fear just myself in this weakened state...

fear

Is this what makes me doubt myself? am I really being myself or is this another mask I have on? I don't even know myself, I don't know anyone. I fear it, I fear loosing you! I fear it because I am liking you more and more every day, and it seems that everytime I like you more...you like me less. Please don't! don't hurt me! I don't think I can spare myself the pain.

I'm weak behind the mask, strong outside without it. I love me and hate her! that part of me that is weak and filled with fear! I trust you, I trust me. She is weak...I protect her, but I hate her. She brings me down with her tears...maybe, just maybe...we are both myself?

life is a lemon and I want my money back

I want my money back
I want my money back
It's all or nothing

And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out

It's always something
There's always something going wrong
That's the only guarantee
That's what this is all about

It's a never ending attack
Everything's a lie, and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!

And all the morons
And all the stooges with their coins
They're the ones who make the rules
It's not a game - it's just a rout

There's desperation
There's desperation in the air
It leaves a stain on all your clothes
And no detergant gets it out

And we're always slipping through the the cracks
Then the movie's over - fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!

I want my money back
I want my money back

What about love?
It's defective!
It's always breaking in half

What about sex? !
It's defective!
It's never built to really last

What about your family?
It's defective!
All the batteries are shot

What about your friends?
They're defective!
All the parts are out of stock

What about hope?
It's defective!
It's corroded and decayed

What about faith?
It's defective!
It's tattered and it's frayed

What about your gods?
They're defective!
They forgot the warranty

What about your town?
It's defective!
It's a dead end street to me

What about your school?
It's defective!
It's a pack of useless lies

What about your work?
It's defective!
It's a crock and then you die

What about your childhood?
It's defective!
It's dead and buried in the past

What about your future?
It's defective!
And you can shove it up your ass!!

I want my money back
I want my money back

It's all or nothing
And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out

It's a never ending attack
Everything's a lie, and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!

And we're always slipping through the the cracks
Then the movie's over-fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back!

sighs that go bump in the night

We vomit words every time we speak,

we cherish in your insides while we feast,

we just live like that.

Our eyes close, our lips try to speak,

but it's our own hands the ones that tell

what we most want to say.

We kiss under the sky,

the stars as witnesses that nothing more we did.

It was our hands behind our bodies,

that gave the tale-tell sign,

the movement that made us realize

that with every sigh that scaped from our lips with every moan,

was our life scaping from our bodies.

Our breath was shared with each other,

it was hard to tell,

which star was us and which one was the supernova.

tell me

 

tell me of all the times we played in the sun
of the times we washed our hands in the river
how many times did I push down to the water?
how old were we then?

do you miss me?
wherever you are, do you miss me?
Sometimes the flowers that bloom forever
are the ones we cherish the less.

Because under the false mask of melancholy
we dance under the moon to shelter our youth
and later forget, we were once human.

what of when I get caught

what of when I get caught
stealing part of your dreams
and turning them into nightmares.

What of when I get caught
looking at your eyes
melting them into oblivion.

what of when I get caught
staring at your picture
for hours without crying.

what would happen then?
what will you do?
would you cry at the lost love?

No, because you can't feel.
you never loved...
that is why, I will never be caught.

the star, the night, the moon, my love.

 

Sufferin under the solitude
I drown in your eyes
sleeping in your arms
tonight alone, I rest
You are the shining star
of the lonely night to come
you are the moon
shining the warriors path
only your being can surpass
the strong wind from the sea
let the sun find me in your arms
and the rainbow after the storm
shall find me tied up to your body
your body that fills me up
with the love only you and I
can share. 

---

Remember
*I remember*
what do you remember?
a moment
what moment?
a random one
why a random one?
because I just like to think
and where do memories go in the end?
to the salt of the sea!

All hallows eve

It's that time of the year already! Once again we shall see the kids asking for either candy or money, them doing pranks, etc.
They don't understand the true meaning, nor why us, those from the "obscure" cultures love this night so much.

Halloween is a night where all creatures of the dark roam free, those who are scared dress themselves in ways to scare the dead and dark who should keep hiden, those who are not scared enjoy every second of their company in one great night.

Some of us might say, but I live halloween everyday! No my darkling, you dont! you may think you do, but it is only night of the catholic year *is there a more disgusting word, and yes, I do hate catholicism with a passion because they prosecuted people from my religion from ages ago.* when the darker creatures roam our world and the dead can come home again.

Just because you dress in black and drink red vodka, pretending it to be blood, are you living halloween every day. Grow up! and on that note, I want to dress up very pretty and collect candy. Sugary sweets that will make jump in gleeful emotions, the thing is, since I'm so "old", no one will give me any candy. So unfair! I think the person who invented trick or treating was an older kid who was not allowed candy due to his age. *lights a smoke*

Anyways, I think I shall plan a party with some friends. Invitation only, made and designed by beautiful me. Oh yes, today is the day when I write gleeful thoughts, because Ophelia is today happy and the thought of eating candy and sharing them with those beautiful, dark (so dark and goth) creatures.

P.S: I hope that those of you who read me have enough brain to understand the sarcastic jokes withing this drowning. I am too tired to explain them to you.

nothing to say, ramblings.

Welcome dearests, to this land of surreal words that float in a river of yes, you guessed it more pathethic and putrid words that makes us believe they are beautiful. Well yes, ther eis not much to say, because my mind can only think of him! yes him, bloody him and his perfect ways, his softly careses like rose petals, his lips on mine, his kisses that drug me. I miss that perfect he, my rose thief!

---

Remember
*I remember*
what do you remember?
a moment
what moment?
a random one
why a random one?
because I just like to think
and where do memories go in the end?
to the salt of the sea!

The creed I follow.

Hatred is a bitter, damaging emotion. It winds itself through the blood, infecting its host and driving it forward without any reason.Its view is jaundiced and it skews even the clearest of eyesights.


Sacrifice is noble and tender. It's the action of a host who values others above himself. Sacrifice is bought through love and decency. It's trully heroic.


Vengeance is an act of violence. It allows those who have been wronged to take back some of what was lost to them. Unlike sacrifice, it gives back to the one who practices it.


Love is deceitful and sublime. In its truest form, it brings out the best of all beings. At its worst, it's a tool used to manipulate and ruin anyone who is stupid enough to hold it.


Don't be stupid.


Sacrifice is for the weak. Hatred corrupts. Love destroys. Vengeance is the gift of the strong.


Move forward, not with hatred, not with love.


Move forward with purpose.


Take back what was stolen. Make those who laughed at your pain pay. Not with hatred, but with calm, cold rationale.


Hatred is your enemy. Vengeance is your friend. Hold it close and let it loose.


May the gods have mercy on those who have wronged me because I will have no mercy for them.

---

Remember
*I remember*
what do you remember?
a moment
what moment?
a random one
why a random one?
because I just like to think
and where do memories go in the end?
to the salt of the sea!

First entry, the drowning of the silent Ophelia.

I want to say something, but the words get caught in my throath, everyone sees your pain and I can only see what I always live with.
I don't know anymore what to say, even if I swim in a river of words that bathe my skin filling it with terror and angst.

I continue to fall under, I drown and can't sing anymore. Where's the ophelia that I used to be? Where's the torture in my veins? Words drown me, and I sink deeper into the river styx.
The ferryman crosses the river again, I can't make him look down to me.

The words of the other souls scream to me, drowning me, but I'm not dead. I want to scream!, reach out and grab your hand. I want to run away, I want to leave but you are no longer here. You left me to drown in words, you failed to see...that the ophelia that you knew could have been saved and I didn't have to drown without my song.


P.S: I want to say it, but will I feel it?

---

Remember
*I remember*
what do you remember?
a moment
what moment?
a random one
why a random one?
because I just like to think
and where do memories go in the end?
to the salt of the sea!